2013 is the year when most things happened. It’s been like having starred in a series.
Love, hate, lies, betrayal, joy, sex and death. All in a mess. Life has been as the steepest roller coaster I’ve ever been in, over and over again.
One of the absolute worst thing that has happened this year, it happened today. My boss has failed to approve half of our working days. So the salary that comes on Monday … is only 1/3 of the salary that I qualify for. What a Christmas present that is.
Ideally, I’d like to cry but I can only laugh about it. Fortunately, I have some money in savings – which, however, would go to the other – I have to help.
Consider yet what money controls much of one’s life. You take so for granted that you will always have money so you can manage and then some to save. Yes yes … the money will come about 14 days … Just in time for the beginning of next year .. Good start to the new year.
It really has been like to be in heaven but then just as quickly be down the hell. Over and over again.
My friendship with my best friend was about to be destroyed. But we managed to save it.
The summer was like a huge revolving round with love, sex and heartbreak. It was broken promises and tenderness and passion at a furious pace. Chamber of Secrets, it felt like at times.
Autumn has been marked by love and sorrow in installments. Death and heartache. Storming Heaven, love and euphoria. Despair and regret. All emotions at the same time.
Studies Psychology mixed with psychoanalysis with both advantages and disadvantages in installments. The brain has overheated and overhaul on several occasions. My mind has been in turmoil and caused me to lose my temper on several occasions.
The mental balance has stabilized, however, again. Thank goodness. Emotions have also become more controllable. A good balance has turned up again.
The love is still there even though it may never be a true story. It’s a secret love but for me so incredibly overwhelming. For me a true love, even though it almost should not be allowed to feel that way. But my heart has made its choice.
I have no regrets of what I’ve gone through this year. Not even death threats from my ex-husband and now paternity investigation with DNA samples. Everything has had its meaning and it has given me strength and made me look completely different on my past and my future.
I now know what I want and do not want to. I also know that this will probably be the last Christmas for a very long time that I celebrate in Sweden.
It is with great hopes and plans I look forward to next year – 2014. The year when I probably leaves Sweden to another country. New job. New living conditions. Love or not? Time will tell. However, a dream of getting married on a beach barefoot with the sunset as background. With Prince Charming.
Despite the good fortune down to hell today, I know that I once again are already going up again to the sky. A strong and stubborn woman will never surrender. It is the strongest who survive, and that’s me.